Jason's birthday

This is Jason. He had a birthday party last night.

I found myself on the roof of the Standard Hotel on the Sunset strip speaking in Hollywoodese. It's a dialect that one picks up when around these types. Funny thing is these types are my friends. I gave Jason some Hands Off! Anti-masturbation creme and a book of 1950's pin-ups. Seemed appropriate. I usually give him some sort of underwear, but I couldn't find anything this year that I haven't already given him. Besides, it's really hard to beat that one time in 1999....

Our friend Michael had a party at his house. There was already a running joke centered around the fact that I prefer thong underwear. I had jokingly promised I would donate a pair to Jason. Russ and I devised a plan. So, being his birthday and all, I gave him a little black pair in the kitchen, right in front of everyone. Everyone laughed and Russ stormed off in a pretend huff, but we played it up to Jason, telling him that Russ was so mad he had locked himself in the bathroom. So Jason went to find Russ and "talk him down" when Russ appeared, handing his own boxer-briefs to Jason, not to be outdone. And that was the night the McGarrys gave Jason their undergarments.