My Fair Lady

I am in hell. Not the sort of hell I ever imagined. The sort in which you are a captive audience to the antics of a young, pretty, ambitious person who only makes eye contact with those who might be of service to you. Either physically or career-ly. Additionally, she is incredibly stupid. I know, I know, that will get you EVERYWHERE in LA. Here's a snipit of what I just heard:

“Oh my god, I was like, signing, like, remember? Like, singing? Like running down the hall, singing, like, running??? And I was like singing that like song from that movie where they sing...what is it? Oh yeah, like My Fair Lady. (singing) I feel pretty...oh so pretty! Yeah, like that, and everyone was like laughing 'cause I was running and like singing.”
This is what is wrong with humanity.

Not so much that every single guy came out to the hallway to watch the pretty-stupid girl talk, but that I had to listen to it happen right outside my cube and there is not one damn thing I can do about it. And I have to pee. But I can't get to the bathroom without getting roped into this conversation, as it were. No, that's not the bad part. The BAD part is the fact that this girl spews the word "like" like a frat boy vomits at Mardi Gras. Notice the correct use of the word.

And so here is my homage to pretty-stupid girl:
"I was like listening to you like sort of like talking and I decided that you like sort of in a way like suck."

The End.