We found out yesterday that Duncan, out 13 year old cat, has liposarcoma. It's a cancer. Not that there is a good cancer, but this one is a bad cancer. It's in the fatty tissue. It's pretty aggressive. When the vet called yesterday, she mentioned that his best chances lie in a radical surgery, including amputation of the limb. Since Duncan's tumors are on his side, I wasn't sure which limb she was referring to. I've seen many a 3-legged cat in my day and they are all cute and seem to adapt to their tri-ped siuation well. But a 13 year old cat that might not live that long? I just picture Duncan giving me the eye-darts and trying to flip me off with his no-longer-there-south-paw.
I was so spun up about the whole thing, I went to a psychic who had healed a friend's cat. Desperate times call for desperate measures. As I walked in, Kimberley told me to shuffle the tarot deck. "Do you have a general question or a specific...oh, a specific. (correct!) OK, then just tell me your birthday and month...oh, wait you're a libra. (correct again!) OK, just tell me the day. Hmmm. You're in a relationship (yes) with a great guy (yes) he's an Earth sign (yes!)." And so it went, with Kimberly telling me all about myself and Duncan and my just sitting with my jaw on the floor. She also knew that Duncan is gray and white and that he's had 2 tests so far. I was impressed. But according to Kimberley, Duncan has 4 months, regardless of the course of treatment. As I left, she kept saying, "I hope I'm wrong." I hope she's wrong, too.
The idea that 4 months may be all that's left gave me a sinking feeling that I hadn't had before. When I first heard that Duncan MIGHT have cancer, that was a sinking feeling, but sinking as in letting yourself drop to the bottom of the deep end of the community swimming pool and watching all the jocks dive in (or belly flop.) But this sinking, the 4 months left sinking, this is like the Titanic, slowly sinking into icey waters and everything you know around you disappears and you break in half and fall to the bottom, as the band plays a jaunty tune.
I went home and told Russ after which we both hugged Duncan and cried. Now, Duncan is completely happy and feels great. Twice now, his parents have been hystercal all over him on a Monday night. He's probably confused. Maybe he thinks we're getting a divorce and it's all his fault. I don't think he understands he has a mass of flesh growing inside him at an alarming rate, uncontrolled.
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