Maybe because it's New Years, I have this weird feeling of not knowing where I am or what I'm doing. Why can't they make a GPS for life? I had this strange revelation last night that I'm not sure if I'm on the trunk or a small branch of this tree, metaphorically speaking of course. Maybe I'm not even on the tree at all. What's not in this photo is the winery dumpster, just beyond the tree in the parking lot. Maybe that's where I am.
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
Friday, December 29, 2006
Green, blue it's all the same
Wednesday morning, James and I were lounging around, enjoying not having to be anywhere when the phone rang. It was our co-worker John Ford. He and his wife were on their way up to Solvang and San Luis Obispo for some post holiday cheer. They had invited us a few days prior but I didn't want to make any commitment on account of my certain lack of health. But we were feeling spontaneous and decided to go for the Solvang part. Why not? I've never been before. So we hopped in the car and headed out for a delightful road trip.
Solvang is about 130 miles north of Los Angeles in the Santa Ynez Valley. It's become quite the little wine country. But the town itself is a little bit of Scandinavia in the middle of Southern California. Most places have windmills on them and Dutch names like Skaarsgaard or Van Hooten. Not long after we arrived, we met up with John and Audrey who regaled us with tales of wine tasting and bottles of wine to prove it. We were ordered to drink up and catch up. We did and we did. And then we were off to the Hitching Post for steaks! The restaurant is featured in the film Sideways as the place of employment of the Virginia Madsen character. For some reason, after an appetizer of a tiny, helpless quail, Audrey decided to ask pretty much everyone in the restaurant what color eyes I have. James insists they are blue. I always thought they are green. Most people assume they are blue, as in blond hair/blue eyes. I seem to remember my optometrist telling me they are blue with gold flecks. Audrey has the most amazing bright blue eyes, so next to hers, mine look darker and more gray or green depending on how you see it. I think everyone else may have been as drunk as I was because I don't remember anyone coming up with an answer. After a lot of time quizzing the general population of Solvang, I still don't know what color my eyes really are. But the next day they were most assuredly red.
That didn't stop us from wine-tasting our way back and forth across the Valley, stopping only to pet the ostriches who wanted to eat my sweater. James and I made one more stop before heading back to LA: The Hitching Post for one more steak. And that is where I left my camera. hopefully they will mail it back since I'm not looking forward to making the 3 hour trek back anytime this week. John and Audrey headed up north and the Madonna Inn.
I can't wait to get my camera/pictures back. And to hear all about the crazy pink rooms at the Madonna.
Solvang is about 130 miles north of Los Angeles in the Santa Ynez Valley. It's become quite the little wine country. But the town itself is a little bit of Scandinavia in the middle of Southern California. Most places have windmills on them and Dutch names like Skaarsgaard or Van Hooten. Not long after we arrived, we met up with John and Audrey who regaled us with tales of wine tasting and bottles of wine to prove it. We were ordered to drink up and catch up. We did and we did. And then we were off to the Hitching Post for steaks! The restaurant is featured in the film Sideways as the place of employment of the Virginia Madsen character. For some reason, after an appetizer of a tiny, helpless quail, Audrey decided to ask pretty much everyone in the restaurant what color eyes I have. James insists they are blue. I always thought they are green. Most people assume they are blue, as in blond hair/blue eyes. I seem to remember my optometrist telling me they are blue with gold flecks. Audrey has the most amazing bright blue eyes, so next to hers, mine look darker and more gray or green depending on how you see it. I think everyone else may have been as drunk as I was because I don't remember anyone coming up with an answer. After a lot of time quizzing the general population of Solvang, I still don't know what color my eyes really are. But the next day they were most assuredly red.
That didn't stop us from wine-tasting our way back and forth across the Valley, stopping only to pet the ostriches who wanted to eat my sweater. James and I made one more stop before heading back to LA: The Hitching Post for one more steak. And that is where I left my camera. hopefully they will mail it back since I'm not looking forward to making the 3 hour trek back anytime this week. John and Audrey headed up north and the Madonna Inn.
I can't wait to get my camera/pictures back. And to hear all about the crazy pink rooms at the Madonna.
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Ooops she did it again
So, we were coming back from lunch and we saw this girl in the lobby with a tiny little shirt tied up at her chest Daisy Duke style. Her tanned midriff was exposed all the way down to her low-rise jeans. She was talking to a guy in a trucker hat. We giggled as we passed thinking "who's that trashy girl who thinks she's Brittney Spears?" Then we saw a producer and the head of Music approach her and welcome her to Disney. They whisked her away to the recording studio.
And so it was Brittney Spears who thought she was Brittney Spears. Strange.
And so it was Brittney Spears who thought she was Brittney Spears. Strange.
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Blood Bath
It was brutal. Really brutal. We each waited for a phone call, all 800 of us. When I got there at 9:30 it had already started. We had heard 20% would be cut, but it seems closer to 40%. Entire departments fell. Still, each person got a call. One by one. By 10:30 they had started on our department. David got a call...he was out. We were discussing when Eric got a call. They told him to go upstairs, which was generally the indication that you were made redundant. They will only tell you that in person. He was gone for a few minites when James came in to tell me he had been cast. He was so relieved. After days of stress, and being sick on top of it, it was all over. I heard Eric come back and pack up his stuff to leave. Yup, he's gone. Artists gathered in the hallway to discuss who is gone and why. Out of about 20 people in our group, they cut 9. A lot more than 20%. People were cut who are brilliant and quite gifted. As the morning passed, I grew more and more concerned. I clomped around the hall trying to burn off nervous energy, but people mistook that for my being happy and assumed I got The Call. Finally, at 12:30, the phone rang.
I have a Bat Phone (a phone with caller id on it) at work, so I can always tell who is bothering me. I saw the name - Tanja Knoblich (which James tells me means garlic in German.) Tanja is a wonderful, sweet person whom I have worked with for years. We worked quite closely together back in the Resources Days and I always counted on her for the best gossip. And on this day, I knew she was fortunate enough to be passing out the good calls. My heart lept and I answered. "Dara, my friend, you've been cast on the next project!"
I was giddier than I expected I would be. We were all allowed to leave for the day and I had a hair appointment. Which was great. Hair stylists are always the best people to vent to. She got an earfull from me.
Today I'm dealing with the survivor's guilt. I feel as if I have a dying Tom Hanks saying to my Private Ryan, "Earn this...."
Earn this.
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Monday, December 11, 2006
Last Day of Silence
Tomorrow, everything changes.
Today, we had our annual efx department Holiday Lunch and gift exchange. We went to Mori's teppan grill, which is always fun to watch the Japanese (or Latino) chefs set a bunch of stuff on fire right in front of your very eyes! James is home sick with strep or something like it.
Finally, we started the gift exchange. Each person chooses a gift or you can choose to steal a gift from someone who already has chosen one. I drew third and opted not to take the dart board from Chyuan because I knew that gift would make it's way around the whole department like a bad rumor. So, I chose a new gift. Turned out to be a collection of Horror B-Movie Action Figures. Cool! But then Peter stole it from me in the next turn. Oh well. So I got to draw again. This time it was scotch. Timely. I was going to buy a bottle for tomorrow to share with whoever needed it. But Simon ended up with it. Actually, he probably needs it more than any of us since he had to put his dog to sleep this morning. Poor guy. And so I drew again and got a reindeer that poops jelly beans.
And so the day will drift along with most of us sleepy from Sapporo or Saki. And into the night where most of us will drift into some other ether from some other ethereal liquid. And then it will be tomorrow.
Tomorrow, we will find out, each of the 800 of us here at Feature, who will have a job and who will not. It's a crap shoot. Good thing I've got Reindeer poop.
Today, we had our annual efx department Holiday Lunch and gift exchange. We went to Mori's teppan grill, which is always fun to watch the Japanese (or Latino) chefs set a bunch of stuff on fire right in front of your very eyes! James is home sick with strep or something like it.
Finally, we started the gift exchange. Each person chooses a gift or you can choose to steal a gift from someone who already has chosen one. I drew third and opted not to take the dart board from Chyuan because I knew that gift would make it's way around the whole department like a bad rumor. So, I chose a new gift. Turned out to be a collection of Horror B-Movie Action Figures. Cool! But then Peter stole it from me in the next turn. Oh well. So I got to draw again. This time it was scotch. Timely. I was going to buy a bottle for tomorrow to share with whoever needed it. But Simon ended up with it. Actually, he probably needs it more than any of us since he had to put his dog to sleep this morning. Poor guy. And so I drew again and got a reindeer that poops jelly beans.
And so the day will drift along with most of us sleepy from Sapporo or Saki. And into the night where most of us will drift into some other ether from some other ethereal liquid. And then it will be tomorrow.
Tomorrow, we will find out, each of the 800 of us here at Feature, who will have a job and who will not. It's a crap shoot. Good thing I've got Reindeer poop.
Monday, December 04, 2006
TaDa
After all that (see previous post) we still managed to get all spiffy and head out to Ruth's Chris Steak House for a birthday dinner. We had decided to wait until after the race to have the big dinner, when our appetites were sure to be exaggerated. It was painful to walk in high heels, but a steak has never tasted so good.
Half Marathon!
4:30am. Oatmeal. Lots of pink. That's pretty much all I remember from Sunday morning. Until we got to the meet up place downtown. Me and four other Disney folk decided to meet up and shuttle to the race start at Griffith Park. It was COLD! Reeaallly cold! How did I ever survive in Chicago? No one was really awake when we parked the car. That proved to be a problem later.
Upon arrival at the park, there was a crew of Native Americans onstage. The Chief was introducing a series of ancient and customary dances. One represented a Butterfly. The shawl represents Butterfly wings. The flapping of the shawl represents flapping of the butterfly wings. I had hoped there would be something more profound in the dance, but sometimes the dance represents the dance. The Chief talked about the old times and old dances and the way things used to be. "Then everything changed," he said. It's 6:30am, it's freezing cold, I'm about to run a race I'm not prepared for and now I am ladened with White Man Guilt. Superlative.
The lines for the outhouses were long and stinky, though I ran into an old friend, Brooks, there. As I waited in an impossibly long line, a lady with a radio tried to gather everyone for the race start. She urged us to get to the start line, but the 100 or so people in line just looked at her with inquisitive faces and full bladders.
From the line we heard the National Anthem (something I've never heard at a race before) and something that sounded like "Go!" and we could see the crowd slowly moving. James and I checked in our bags and wandered over to the start. Since we are chip timed, it doesn't really matter when you start. Your chip registers exactly when you cross the start and finish. I started to go and James held back. He wanted to wait until The Pack had cleared up a bit so he could run straight through. I started running and looked back to see James alone at the start.
Somewhere in the park, he ran up behind me. Not sure how far in we were, but Mr Blue Sky by ELO was on my running playlist at the time. I found it cute because that was at one time the ringtone I assigned to him.
On the back side of the park, it started. The pain. Twinges at the knee. And the hips. It was far too early for the pain. This was not going to end well. I considered running back to my car at Disney which was only about 4 miles away, but realized my keys were in Tracy's car downtown. Not an option. So I decided to walk. And then run and walk some more. That worked for a few miles. But by mile 9 I couldn't even take advantage of the downhills. It just hurt too much. I was left only able to run when I approached a camera or a crowd of children who were cheering me on to run. Couldn't let the kids down.
As I was running down Silver Lake Blvd, I realized that Russ lives somewhere right in that area. I probably ran right by his place, but I don't really know where it is. And as I ran through the cute neighborhood I felt this strange isolation. I was seeing his new life as a tourist. Watching it from the street and seeing it's cuteness as an objective passerby. I wondered when I passed the Walgreens if that is where he buys drugstore stuff. Is that the Ralphs he goes to? Is that cafe where he gets coffee and bagels? It was nice to see it from the street, to get the overview. I cried. My knees hurt, I should have trained harder, I let myself down and...I was sad.
And then I turned a corner. Downtown beckoned. My friends were there. James was there. And I tried to run as much as I could to get there faster. Drums were playing at mile 12 and 13. A lady on stilts danced (as much as you can in stilts.) And I ran to the finish.
James had a fantastic time of 1:42. Let's just say mine was an hour greater. I did walk most of it, remember. And today, it still hurts. It all hurts.
The gang decided to go out for dim sum, and everyone was kind enough to wait for me. Fortunately the race offered oranges and cookies and other treats to keep everyone's blood sugar happy. So off we went to Chinatown. But no one remembered exactly where the car was. We knew the garage, but which level? And so we walked an extra half-marathon around the garage looking for Tracy's car. I finally had to stop and lean on a pillar, telling everyone else to go one without me. It was like that last scene in Last of the Mohicans. Somewhere between levels 4 and 5, Marlon realized his phone was missing from his bag he had picked up from the bag-drop-off. Now we have a missing car, missing phone and bad knees. Finally, Marlon found the car. We phoned his phone hoping the lost and found people would pick up so we could FIND the lost and found. They did. We did. And finally we were off to dim sum. Between the hot tea and hot bath later, I found a comfortable position for my legs. It involves not moving at all.
Upon arrival at the park, there was a crew of Native Americans onstage. The Chief was introducing a series of ancient and customary dances. One represented a Butterfly. The shawl represents Butterfly wings. The flapping of the shawl represents flapping of the butterfly wings. I had hoped there would be something more profound in the dance, but sometimes the dance represents the dance. The Chief talked about the old times and old dances and the way things used to be. "Then everything changed," he said. It's 6:30am, it's freezing cold, I'm about to run a race I'm not prepared for and now I am ladened with White Man Guilt. Superlative.
The lines for the outhouses were long and stinky, though I ran into an old friend, Brooks, there. As I waited in an impossibly long line, a lady with a radio tried to gather everyone for the race start. She urged us to get to the start line, but the 100 or so people in line just looked at her with inquisitive faces and full bladders.
From the line we heard the National Anthem (something I've never heard at a race before) and something that sounded like "Go!" and we could see the crowd slowly moving. James and I checked in our bags and wandered over to the start. Since we are chip timed, it doesn't really matter when you start. Your chip registers exactly when you cross the start and finish. I started to go and James held back. He wanted to wait until The Pack had cleared up a bit so he could run straight through. I started running and looked back to see James alone at the start.
Somewhere in the park, he ran up behind me. Not sure how far in we were, but Mr Blue Sky by ELO was on my running playlist at the time. I found it cute because that was at one time the ringtone I assigned to him.
On the back side of the park, it started. The pain. Twinges at the knee. And the hips. It was far too early for the pain. This was not going to end well. I considered running back to my car at Disney which was only about 4 miles away, but realized my keys were in Tracy's car downtown. Not an option. So I decided to walk. And then run and walk some more. That worked for a few miles. But by mile 9 I couldn't even take advantage of the downhills. It just hurt too much. I was left only able to run when I approached a camera or a crowd of children who were cheering me on to run. Couldn't let the kids down.
As I was running down Silver Lake Blvd, I realized that Russ lives somewhere right in that area. I probably ran right by his place, but I don't really know where it is. And as I ran through the cute neighborhood I felt this strange isolation. I was seeing his new life as a tourist. Watching it from the street and seeing it's cuteness as an objective passerby. I wondered when I passed the Walgreens if that is where he buys drugstore stuff. Is that the Ralphs he goes to? Is that cafe where he gets coffee and bagels? It was nice to see it from the street, to get the overview. I cried. My knees hurt, I should have trained harder, I let myself down and...I was sad.
And then I turned a corner. Downtown beckoned. My friends were there. James was there. And I tried to run as much as I could to get there faster. Drums were playing at mile 12 and 13. A lady on stilts danced (as much as you can in stilts.) And I ran to the finish.
James had a fantastic time of 1:42. Let's just say mine was an hour greater. I did walk most of it, remember. And today, it still hurts. It all hurts.
The gang decided to go out for dim sum, and everyone was kind enough to wait for me. Fortunately the race offered oranges and cookies and other treats to keep everyone's blood sugar happy. So off we went to Chinatown. But no one remembered exactly where the car was. We knew the garage, but which level? And so we walked an extra half-marathon around the garage looking for Tracy's car. I finally had to stop and lean on a pillar, telling everyone else to go one without me. It was like that last scene in Last of the Mohicans. Somewhere between levels 4 and 5, Marlon realized his phone was missing from his bag he had picked up from the bag-drop-off. Now we have a missing car, missing phone and bad knees. Finally, Marlon found the car. We phoned his phone hoping the lost and found people would pick up so we could FIND the lost and found. They did. We did. And finally we were off to dim sum. Between the hot tea and hot bath later, I found a comfortable position for my legs. It involves not moving at all.
Friday, December 01, 2006
Introducing...
This is James. In previous posts I have mentioned New Boyfriend. And today I thought I would post a grand unveiling seeing as today is James' birthday. Happy Bithday James!!! Welcome to my blog! Everyone, say "hi" to James.....
glow.JPG
Michael had a bunch of glow sticks. Most people wore them around their necks. I chose something else.
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
My nemisis
I have not had a good mail order day.
This is my bath caddy that I have waited for. It fell apart in the box before it even got to my tub. The glue that held the small wooden pieces in place came loose. Or the overworked Chinese child that assembled it didn't put enough glue on it. The holes that were pre-drilled to accomodate the candle and wine holders weren't big enough. Then there are the issues wth my tub.
The far edge is too shallow to properly hold that side. The sink vanity doesn't allow the caddy to be pushed to the drain side of the tub, which means the caddy has to sit in the middle. I had to "swim" to the far side to get my shampoo. I came up too early and hit my head on the caddy. It reminded me of learning to swim under the waves this summer. Scary.
This was after a long day, the worst of which was realizing that the pink camera case I bought for my camera won't arrive today becaue FedEx won't deliver it unless I am there to receive it. But I am at work. They tell me that I can go to the FedEx port to pick it up. But if I had time to do that, I would go to Office Depot ( from whence it came) and just buy it. I convinved the FedEx lady to send it to my work, but it will be x-rayed and checked for bombs first at the studio mail center, so there will be a delay.
Mail order is supposed to make things easier.
This is my bath caddy that I have waited for. It fell apart in the box before it even got to my tub. The glue that held the small wooden pieces in place came loose. Or the overworked Chinese child that assembled it didn't put enough glue on it. The holes that were pre-drilled to accomodate the candle and wine holders weren't big enough. Then there are the issues wth my tub.
The far edge is too shallow to properly hold that side. The sink vanity doesn't allow the caddy to be pushed to the drain side of the tub, which means the caddy has to sit in the middle. I had to "swim" to the far side to get my shampoo. I came up too early and hit my head on the caddy. It reminded me of learning to swim under the waves this summer. Scary.
This was after a long day, the worst of which was realizing that the pink camera case I bought for my camera won't arrive today becaue FedEx won't deliver it unless I am there to receive it. But I am at work. They tell me that I can go to the FedEx port to pick it up. But if I had time to do that, I would go to Office Depot ( from whence it came) and just buy it. I convinved the FedEx lady to send it to my work, but it will be x-rayed and checked for bombs first at the studio mail center, so there will be a delay.
Mail order is supposed to make things easier.
Thanksgiving
Everyone wore their paper hat that came with the Christmas Crackers. I know, it's not Christmas, but no one has Christmas dinner anymore. It's all about Thanksgiving. And the jokes were actually kinda funny this year:
"What type of sweet swings through the jungle?"
"Tarzipan!"
They must have hired joke writers at the cracker factory this year.
"What type of sweet swings through the jungle?"
"Tarzipan!"
They must have hired joke writers at the cracker factory this year.
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
O Tannenbaum
As has been custom for the last few years, at least the ones in which I was in this country for the end of November, I have put up Christmas decorations right after Thanksgiving. This year, I was determined to keep that tradition even though everything else in my life is on a brand new schedule.
On Sunday, I set up the aluminum tree I purchased off ebay just before they became fashionable. The original box is really showing signs of wear and tear and I wonder how many more Chirstmases it will hold up. The tree itself is in no better shape, some branches are saggy and some of the aluminum "needles" are so bent out of shape, it looks more sad than festive. But once the tree was up, it looked fine.
Last night, I decorated the tree with newly purchased PINK clear ornaments. I couldn't have been happier to find a large selection of baubles in my favorite color. I mulled some wine and enlisted the help of New Boyfriend. I was enthralled with what his artistic contributions might be to my delightfully pink confection. I was not disappointed. His eye for composition resulted in a beautifully decorated tree that I am quite proud of. As Let It Snow played in the background for the eighth time by the fourth singer, it occurred to me that there are only about a dozen Christmas songs that play in heavy rotation at my house each year. Sure there are different variations by different singers from different eras, but there hasn't really been any decent additions to the Christmas collection since the 50's, Chipmunks notwithstanding.
I'm also disregarding Country Music, since I tend to disregard it altogether. That genre seems to find a way to make Christmas sappy and maudlin every year with some new addition to the cache involving dying children, dying parents and not enough money for a last Christmas present before he/she dies.
My New Boyfriend was raised in Switzerland, which I assume makes him privy to all sorts of Christmas music I never learned at Park Avenue Baptist Church. I should have him sing O Tannenbaum to me. In German. There must be some other songs from EuroChristmas. St Nick? Father Christmas? Isn't there some type of an anti-Santa that threatens children when they are bad? Doesn't he have a theme song?
It's November 28th and I can't get Sleigh Ride out of my head.
On Sunday, I set up the aluminum tree I purchased off ebay just before they became fashionable. The original box is really showing signs of wear and tear and I wonder how many more Chirstmases it will hold up. The tree itself is in no better shape, some branches are saggy and some of the aluminum "needles" are so bent out of shape, it looks more sad than festive. But once the tree was up, it looked fine.
Last night, I decorated the tree with newly purchased PINK clear ornaments. I couldn't have been happier to find a large selection of baubles in my favorite color. I mulled some wine and enlisted the help of New Boyfriend. I was enthralled with what his artistic contributions might be to my delightfully pink confection. I was not disappointed. His eye for composition resulted in a beautifully decorated tree that I am quite proud of. As Let It Snow played in the background for the eighth time by the fourth singer, it occurred to me that there are only about a dozen Christmas songs that play in heavy rotation at my house each year. Sure there are different variations by different singers from different eras, but there hasn't really been any decent additions to the Christmas collection since the 50's, Chipmunks notwithstanding.
I'm also disregarding Country Music, since I tend to disregard it altogether. That genre seems to find a way to make Christmas sappy and maudlin every year with some new addition to the cache involving dying children, dying parents and not enough money for a last Christmas present before he/she dies.
My New Boyfriend was raised in Switzerland, which I assume makes him privy to all sorts of Christmas music I never learned at Park Avenue Baptist Church. I should have him sing O Tannenbaum to me. In German. There must be some other songs from EuroChristmas. St Nick? Father Christmas? Isn't there some type of an anti-Santa that threatens children when they are bad? Doesn't he have a theme song?
It's November 28th and I can't get Sleigh Ride out of my head.
Sunday, November 12, 2006
Purgatory
Last Saturday, a bunch of work friends went to Bar Sinister, a local Goth bar for the weekend warrior type of Goth, not the lifestyle Goth. I had my photo taken. You can view it with a lot of other interesting works here.
All in all it was a fun night. I'll never wear the 6" boots again. I didn't get to dance at all. I barely was even to stand at the end of the evening. Good thing there are lots of places to sit!!!!!
Pictures from the bar will be here.
Look for Nov 4.
All in all it was a fun night. I'll never wear the 6" boots again. I didn't get to dance at all. I barely was even to stand at the end of the evening. Good thing there are lots of places to sit!!!!!
Pictures from the bar will be here.
Look for Nov 4.
Friday, November 10, 2006
I have a real date.
I have been asked out on a proper date.
What makes this so unique is that I cannot remember the last time I was asked on a date. I have always done the asking. When I was in High School, a girls Catholic school...insert fantasy here, we had to ask boys since they weren't around. We had to go and find them. Find them we did at the boys school. I prefered MBA, Montgomery Bell Academy, supposed inspiration for Dead Poets Society. Some prefered Father Ryan, but I found the persistant chewing tobacco and brass knuckles to be off putting. I fell in love with Ed Brown at MBA. I did a play with Ed at MBA, went to concerts with him and was even in a band with him. And I did ask him out, but as he put it, "My girlfriend wouldn't be too happy about that." Much later, years later, I finally caught him between girlfriends. I lived in Chicago at the time. I traveled down to visit him in Nashville and stayed in his beautiful turn of the century house. It was magical. I instigated everything on that trip, as I remember. What I didn't instigate was his complete denial that anything ever happened. Ah well.
I asked Russ out on our first date. I asked him out again. I asked him to move to a new town. I asked him to marry me. I always do the asking because I don't like to wait. And I have no shame.
And so I have been asked. I said yes. I think I like being asked.
What makes this so unique is that I cannot remember the last time I was asked on a date. I have always done the asking. When I was in High School, a girls Catholic school...insert fantasy here, we had to ask boys since they weren't around. We had to go and find them. Find them we did at the boys school. I prefered MBA, Montgomery Bell Academy, supposed inspiration for Dead Poets Society. Some prefered Father Ryan, but I found the persistant chewing tobacco and brass knuckles to be off putting. I fell in love with Ed Brown at MBA. I did a play with Ed at MBA, went to concerts with him and was even in a band with him. And I did ask him out, but as he put it, "My girlfriend wouldn't be too happy about that." Much later, years later, I finally caught him between girlfriends. I lived in Chicago at the time. I traveled down to visit him in Nashville and stayed in his beautiful turn of the century house. It was magical. I instigated everything on that trip, as I remember. What I didn't instigate was his complete denial that anything ever happened. Ah well.
I asked Russ out on our first date. I asked him out again. I asked him to move to a new town. I asked him to marry me. I always do the asking because I don't like to wait. And I have no shame.
And so I have been asked. I said yes. I think I like being asked.
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
hjlafdbjnm
I worked todat from 9am to 9:30pm. Then I had to pick up some groceries. For some reason, I thought it was a good idea to get a home waxing kit. As if I would proceed home and do a quick Brazilian. I got home and there were dishes stacked in the sink, the garbage bins needed to be pulled from the street and I hauled in the iMac from whence I type, with a newly restored power module. At this point, I'm halucinating. I think the cat has an attitude (he does) and that there are children in the back yard (there aren't.) I just finished my list of things I want to keep that I have to take into therpay tomorrow, or rather collective bargining. My list has 5 items, most of which came from my mom and live in the kitchen. Things are things and therefore replaceable. I don't think I'm going to run tomorrow. I'm exhausted. But I'm here typing and waiting to hear a certain voice.........
Friday, November 03, 2006
Cha Cha Cha Changes
"Turn and face the strange..."
And so here I am. Alone.
There may have been an absence of information about Russ lately. Or perhaps ever in the history of this blog. Perhaps that was on purpose, I don't really know. But it was. And there has been an absece of blog all together for quite a few weeks. And I can now report to you that there was a pattern.
After Duncan died, there was no longer any reason for the McGarrys to maintain the niceties that had filled up our daily existance. I came to the conclusion after weeks of soul searching that I was no longer in love with Russ. That we had in fact fallen into some fairly toxic patterns and that we needed help. We went to therapy.
Jose Cohen turned out to be a dream of a therapist. We are both still seeing him weekly. And with his guidence, we decided to separate. Russ moved out. He now lives in Silver Lake near all his friends. He seems very happy and I am happy for him. He even has a date Saturday!
I am quietly trying to fluff up the house to my liking while spending some quality time with my new friend, whom you will meet in a future episode. I am both terrified and elated. What a wild ride.
And so here I am. Alone.
There may have been an absence of information about Russ lately. Or perhaps ever in the history of this blog. Perhaps that was on purpose, I don't really know. But it was. And there has been an absece of blog all together for quite a few weeks. And I can now report to you that there was a pattern.
After Duncan died, there was no longer any reason for the McGarrys to maintain the niceties that had filled up our daily existance. I came to the conclusion after weeks of soul searching that I was no longer in love with Russ. That we had in fact fallen into some fairly toxic patterns and that we needed help. We went to therapy.
Jose Cohen turned out to be a dream of a therapist. We are both still seeing him weekly. And with his guidence, we decided to separate. Russ moved out. He now lives in Silver Lake near all his friends. He seems very happy and I am happy for him. He even has a date Saturday!
I am quietly trying to fluff up the house to my liking while spending some quality time with my new friend, whom you will meet in a future episode. I am both terrified and elated. What a wild ride.
Thursday, August 17, 2006
Duncan is gone
Brave Sir Duncan, Knight of Three Legs, slipped peacefully away today around noon. We couldn't have asked for a better passing.
Dr Liz was running a bit late, which timed out OK since Richard, the mortuary guy, was running early. They know each other and were able to chat via cell phone to let the other know the appropriate timing. Dr Liz was so understanding and loving. She agreed that it was time. She said Duncan looked tired. He did. He'd lost about 4 pounds and his fur was dull as were his eyes. Although today he was looking directly at us, I think to say goodbye.
He sat in my lap on the wicker chair on the back porch. He was ready I think. He slowly went under the anethstesia, but quickly responded to the barbituate. It was less than a minute after she administered the barbituate. And then the most extraordinary thing happened. I felt a rush of energy, something like when you drink a caffinated beverage. And then right after that I felt a profound happiness. It made me smile. It was then that Dr Liz said that his heart had stopped. After she left, I mentioned it to Russ and he felt the exact same thing at the same time. It really felt as if Duncan's spirit was released from a cage, expanding and rejoicing. We know without a doubt that it was the right thing and that Duncan is happy.
Richard came when we were ready and put Duncan in a box. At that point we had sort of detached ourselves a bit from his body and it wasn't as hard as I expected to let him go. We let Paxton in to understand. He came in, sniffed, walked away then stopped in his tracks and turned around and came back with a suspicious look on his face. He sniffed closer, then turned away slowly. He's been sitting in Duncan's favorite spots ever since.
We have spent the rest of the day crying a cleaning the house. I wanted to remove all traces of sick Duncan, the blood, the barf, the baby food stains. We replaced all that with pictures of happy Duncan. That's how we want to remember him.
I miss him so much already.
I bet he's happy to have his leg back.
Dr Liz was running a bit late, which timed out OK since Richard, the mortuary guy, was running early. They know each other and were able to chat via cell phone to let the other know the appropriate timing. Dr Liz was so understanding and loving. She agreed that it was time. She said Duncan looked tired. He did. He'd lost about 4 pounds and his fur was dull as were his eyes. Although today he was looking directly at us, I think to say goodbye.
He sat in my lap on the wicker chair on the back porch. He was ready I think. He slowly went under the anethstesia, but quickly responded to the barbituate. It was less than a minute after she administered the barbituate. And then the most extraordinary thing happened. I felt a rush of energy, something like when you drink a caffinated beverage. And then right after that I felt a profound happiness. It made me smile. It was then that Dr Liz said that his heart had stopped. After she left, I mentioned it to Russ and he felt the exact same thing at the same time. It really felt as if Duncan's spirit was released from a cage, expanding and rejoicing. We know without a doubt that it was the right thing and that Duncan is happy.
Richard came when we were ready and put Duncan in a box. At that point we had sort of detached ourselves a bit from his body and it wasn't as hard as I expected to let him go. We let Paxton in to understand. He came in, sniffed, walked away then stopped in his tracks and turned around and came back with a suspicious look on his face. He sniffed closer, then turned away slowly. He's been sitting in Duncan's favorite spots ever since.
We have spent the rest of the day crying a cleaning the house. I wanted to remove all traces of sick Duncan, the blood, the barf, the baby food stains. We replaced all that with pictures of happy Duncan. That's how we want to remember him.
I miss him so much already.
I bet he's happy to have his leg back.
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